Demons in my Head
by Transition88
Summary: It's no big deal, I just have a dash of the ole psychotic depression." "Psychotic depression?" "It's like normal depression except I sometimes go a bit bonkers and have hallucinations." Derek raised his eyebrows, he could tell Stiles was trying his hardest to be aloof about something major.


"Yeah, I see it. It's two bands, right? What does it mean?" Derek asked Scott, who needed help getting a tattoo as a werewolf.

"I don't know it's just something I...Stiles?"

Derek turned to where Scott was looking, Stiles was sitting on the floor, his knees pulled to his chest, and his arms wrapped around his legs.

"Stiles?" Scott asked again, and Derek didn't understand why he cared that his friend decided to sit on the floor.

Scott got up and walked over to where Stiles was, kneeling down and gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

Stiles was now rocking back and forth, mumbling incoherently under his breath.

"Hey buddy, are you okay?" He asked in a soothing voice.

Stiles stopped rocking and looked up at his friend. His eyes were glazed over and he looked terrified.

"Scotty?"

"Yeah buddy, it's me."

Stiles tucked his head between his knees and wrapped his arms over his head.

"They're back. They're gonna eat my flesh and drink my soul."

"Stiles, it's okay. No one's here but you, me, and Derek."

"They're stronger now."

Derek stared in utter confusion, before finally breaking his trance, "what's wrong with him?"

Scott huffed, "nothing's _wrong _with him. He probably just forgot to take his meds or something."

"His meds, wait, what, are you joking?"

"Does it look like we're joking?"

Stiles let out a whimper, and began rocking faster, scratching at his arms.

"Fuck." Scott whispered, and gently took Stiles' arms, they had already began bleeding.

"Stiles stop, you're gonna hurt yourself again."

A single sob escaped Stiles, "Make them go away. I don't wanna be like her! I don't wanna be like her!"

Scott winced, "can you take his arms?" He asked Derek, who nodded and gently took Stiles' arms, while Scott now used his free hands to try and still his friend. He placed his hands on Stiles' shoulders in an attempt to stop his rocking. Stiles fought it at first, but eventually calmed in his friends arms.

Scott began rubbing circles in Stiles' back, "hey it's okay. You're okay."

Stiles blinked away tears, letting out a few whimpers, before he eventually cried himself to sleep in his friend's arms.

Scott and Derek gently placed him on the couch, before Derek turned to Scott, baffled.

"You want to explain to me what the hell just happened?"

"I told you he probably forgot to take his meds. Just let him sleep it off, he'll be fine."

"Meds for what?"

Scott squirmed, obviously uncomfortable by the question.

"Look, it's really not my place to say anything. You can ask him yourself when he wakes up, anyway I have to go soon, my mom texted me while Stiles was having his episode."

"What about Stiles?"

"Like I said, just let him sleep it off. Although he might need a ride home, I'm not sure if he'll be good enough to drive..."

Derek rolled his eyes, "I can give him a ride home if he needs it, and you can swing by and bring his jeep to his house tomorrow."

"Thanks man." Scott said with a nod, before kneeling down next to Stiles' sleeping form and gently taking his arms, a worried expression clouding over his face. They were covered in scratches. "You wouldn't happen to have a first aid kit by chance?"

"Werewolf healing."

Scott nodded right as his phone chimed.

"Ugh, I have to go...can you like, wash the blood off his arms or something? I'd hate to have him wake up like this."

Derek nodded and Scott smiled in gratitude before heading outside to his bike.

Derek awkwardly paced around the living room, feeling uneasy being alone with Stiles since...whatever that was happened.

He headed to what was once his kitchen and grabbed a water bottle since there was no running water. He then grabbed some paper towels and poured the water over them, before going back to Stiles. He gently took Stiles' arm, making sure not to wake him and dabbed paper towels on wounds. He couldn't fathom how he had never heard of Stiles having "episodes" before.

After his arms were cleaned off, he threw away the paper towels, and then sat at the other side of the couch, not sure what to do. He eventually picked up a book from his small stack on the floor, and began leafing through it, still feeling antsy.

After some time he heard a rustling of clothes and a soft-spoken "wha?" From Stiles' direction.

"Good, you're awake."

Stiles rubbed his eyes and glanced around the room, confused. "What happened, where's Scott?"

"He had to go home, you uh. You had an...episode."

Stiles' eyes widened and he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"That's embarrassing. Was it bad?"

"Uh, not really? You just kept talking about how 'they' were out to get you."

Stiles nodded, "oh. Well sorry I freaked out on you guys."

"It's okay...I'm just confused. I mean, I asked Scott what happened but he said it wasn't his place to say."

"Ah Scott, that ones loyal. It's no big deal, I just have a dash of the ole psychotic depression."

"Psychotic depression?"

"It's like normal depression except I sometimes go a bit bonkers and have hallucinations."

Derek raised his eyebrows, he could tell Stiles was trying his hardest to be aloof about something major.

"It's not that bad. With therapy and meds I'm usually alright. I guess all this drama with finding Boyd and Erica made me forget. Stupid on my behalf, but whatever, I'm fine."

"Scott made it seem like it was something major."

Stiles shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

"Scott's just an overprotective best friend."

"You're lying, theirs more to it."

Stiles gave Derek a pointed look, "I'm so sorry if my disease annoys you in some weird way. But how does this effect you at all?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what you're ashamed of."

"Excuse me?"

"Well you're not telling me something, so I just figured-"

"I'm not ashamed of anything. Whenever people find out I have this they freak out a make a bigger deal out of it than it is. It's not like it defines me. I've known you for months and you're just now finding out, that shows how little impact this has in my life."

"Who is she?"

Stiles stared at Derek, utter confusion written on his face.

"What are you even talking about?"

"You kept yelling that you didn't want to be like her. Be like who?"

Stiles immediately frowned, and sank into himself, wrapping his arms back around his legs and resting his chin on his knees.

"You know what Scott told me once? Apparently the first time Allison met my dad, she assumed I was adopted. I look nothing like him, right? He's tan, I'm pale and covered in moles. He has, or had blonde hair, mine's brown. He has blue eyes, I have brown eyes. I don't have his nose or his mouth or I wasn't adopted, that's for damn sure. I look just like my mom. I have her eyes, her hair, her skin, her facial features, and her illness-"

"Stiles."

"One night my dad took me out to the batting cages to celebrate me getting straight A's on my report card for the first time. I had finally been diagnosed with ADHD so once I was on adderall my grades went way up. Anyway, when we got home I saw water seeping out from under the bathroom door. My dad started freaking out, and I thought it was because the bathroom had flooded. But then he broke down the door and kept shouting at me to call 911. It was too late though-"

"Stiles I-"

"In her suicide letter all she wrote was that she had to get away from the demons, that was her goodbye. And then a few years later Scott noticed I had been in a down mood for awhile, so he brought me to his house hoping some X-Box would cheer me up. But then the characters in the video game triggered something and I freaked out and locked myself in the hall closet. When Melissa got home she was able to coax me outside, and then she drove me straight to the hospital where they diagnosed me. People didn't know for awhile because Scott kept my secret, but then one day I had an episode in class and I got bullied for the longest time. And I was so angry. Angry and ashamed. Of myself, of my mother. But people grew up and the bullying died down. And I realized it was stupid of me to be ashamed of something I can't control. And in a weird way, my illness makes me feel closer to my mother. Not just because it's another thing of hers that I have, but because I finally _understand. _I was mad at her for so long. I thought she just left because she didn't love me enough. I always wondered how she could leave her only child. But now that I have episodes, and I've seen the demons myself, I get it. So no Derek, I'm not ashamed of anything."

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..offend you."

"It's okay, I just wish more people understood where I'm coming from."

"Well, I have to say I'm impressed. You took something awful and instead of having it take over your life, you found a way to use it to your advantage to gain insight."

Stiles blushed shyly, "Thanks man."

"Do you want me to drive you home now?"

"Do you want me to go home?"

"Not really."

"Good, cause I want to stay here."

**A/N: This story is inspired by the amazing fic "Unstable by Sushi Chi. So if you haven't read it, go check it out! Also, I hope I didn't butcher all the symptoms, but I got them all from google and "Skins", so…**


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